I got under 4 hours of sleep last night. /;
When my mom picked me up from memaw's today the FIRST place she went was gold star, FUCK!
So I asked her if she remembered to get my veggie groceries to hint that i COULDN'T eat gold star, and she hadn't.
When we got to gold star I saw a $2 half-salad and decided to get one, first ordering Italian dressing, then switching to ranch. Bad idea. The ranch dressing had 230 calories! So I waited to eat my lettuce and dressing "half-salad" until I got home, finding a dressing that was 50 calories per tablespoon, I used 3 . I also bought an arizona half iced tea & half mango, it's gross ! I'm counting my sip as 50 calories just to be safe. OH & my plan for a liquid only fast today, out the window, I need to learn self-control.
My mom asked me if I had written "5 crackers = (idr) calories" on a bag of wheat crackers that I formally had stashed in my room's "food safe" and returned to the kitchen. I had. I need to be more careful, I can't get caught. not yet.
Calories Consumed So far: 125
I'm going for a run.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
3:11 p.m.
I've missed being home with my digital scale,
I weighed myself for the first time since break today.
I lost 7 pounds! WHOO! and I still have all day to exercise, life is good.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
6:04 p.m.
I went for a run, did plenty of sit-ups, and jumping jacks, I always feel SO damn good after I work out. My mom thinks I'm "on a diet" and she's dieting with me! hahahahahah! I think she's even going vegetarian. :D
When she came home she brought us both salads from McDonald's, she even got me water instead of pop. This is good. Anyhow, she bought me a Caesar Salad w/o chicken. The McDonald's site says that is 90 calories, but I picked out all the cheese, tomatoes, and red cabbage and just ate the lettuce with 50 calories of low-fat Italian dressing. So 70 calories total?
Calories Consumed So far: 195
So, Following ABC I can eat 305 more calories today.
But I'm not going to. :D
xoxo , M <3
Sunday, January 3, 2010
Saturday, January 2, 2010
This is my Story
Hi guys, my name is "M" and this is a blog about me and my best friend, my worst enemy, and my Goddess, Ana.
After my favorite pro-ana site had been closed down while looking for a new community to join I stumbled upon a pro-ana blog that was really thinspirational for me, and for the person writing the blog as well, so I thought making a blog telling you guys about my ongoing battle with Ana would motivate me to EAT LESS forsure (so I don't feel embarrassed by writing a huge list of foods I've binged on, etc.), exercise more, and GET thin. I created this blog in hopes of not only thinspiration for myself, but thinspirational for other people as well.
IF YOU ARE A WANNAREXIC DO YOURSELF A FAVOR AND X OFF OF MY BLOG RIGHT NOW! If you're already playing the game with Ana; read on my loves.
- Saturday January 2, 2009 -
WHY AM I SO OUT OF CONTROL?! I can't even post my weight ; I am so embarrassed at how HUGE I've gotten because I have absolutely no control over anything !
Today I woke up planning on a water ONLY fast,
Fail.
I've grown to LOVELOVELOVE the feeling of my stomach growling, it makes me feel in control, it makes me feel like I'm winning. I was enjoying the stomach growls for a good 2 hours when I decided just one little strawberry wouldn't hurt. I wasn't feeling hungry for about 2 hours later when my grandma came into my (sister's) room and offered me a plate of pork chops (bleh!), green beans, corn, and a baked potato LOADED with butter and sour cream. Bless her little heart, I'd become a vegetarian since last time I'd stayed here. I ate the green beans and corn.
not TOO bad, I went out and ran for a little bit before returning home an eating a bowl of cereal and milk (290 calories), not because I was hungry, because I was bored, and Ana absolutely HATED it, the voices in my head were so strong I had to take a seat.
This stops here, I have got to start listening to Ana.
- I've been feeling dizzy all day -
I start the ABC diet tomorrow, which allows 500 calories for the first day and I'm not consuming one bite of solid food to make up for my piggish behavior today.
XOXO, M <3
After my favorite pro-ana site had been closed down while looking for a new community to join I stumbled upon a pro-ana blog that was really thinspirational for me, and for the person writing the blog as well, so I thought making a blog telling you guys about my ongoing battle with Ana would motivate me to EAT LESS forsure (so I don't feel embarrassed by writing a huge list of foods I've binged on, etc.), exercise more, and GET thin. I created this blog in hopes of not only thinspiration for myself, but thinspirational for other people as well.
IF YOU ARE A WANNAREXIC DO YOURSELF A FAVOR AND X OFF OF MY BLOG RIGHT NOW! If you're already playing the game with Ana; read on my loves.
- Saturday January 2, 2009 -
WHY AM I SO OUT OF CONTROL?! I can't even post my weight ; I am so embarrassed at how HUGE I've gotten because I have absolutely no control over anything !
Today I woke up planning on a water ONLY fast,
Fail.
I've grown to LOVELOVELOVE the feeling of my stomach growling, it makes me feel in control, it makes me feel like I'm winning. I was enjoying the stomach growls for a good 2 hours when I decided just one little strawberry wouldn't hurt. I wasn't feeling hungry for about 2 hours later when my grandma came into my (sister's) room and offered me a plate of pork chops (bleh!), green beans, corn, and a baked potato LOADED with butter and sour cream. Bless her little heart, I'd become a vegetarian since last time I'd stayed here. I ate the green beans and corn.
not TOO bad, I went out and ran for a little bit before returning home an eating a bowl of cereal and milk (290 calories), not because I was hungry, because I was bored, and Ana absolutely HATED it, the voices in my head were so strong I had to take a seat.
This stops here, I have got to start listening to Ana.
- I've been feeling dizzy all day -
I start the ABC diet tomorrow, which allows 500 calories for the first day and I'm not consuming one bite of solid food to make up for my piggish behavior today.
XOXO, M <3
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
